is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
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