I love black thongs
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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