you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
