When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
