I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
