I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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