found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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