Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
