Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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