Tell her she can't have a vagina
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Randomize
