Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
