my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
This is classic penis vs brain.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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