idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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