She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
