were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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