question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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