OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
