I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
