the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
