He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
