No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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