you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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