I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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