Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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