YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
