Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
There r osticjed everywhere
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
as a side note pls kill me
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
