I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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