Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
