what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
