he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
