White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
