I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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