using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
