i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
