Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
