and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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