There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
