i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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