i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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