You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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