super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
