In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
and she was petting her beer can
Just took my morning after pill in the library
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
