Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
