hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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