FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
