I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
