im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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