I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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