overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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