I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
